Mirror

       Mr. A sent me a text where I seemed to see another me repeating the very same action to get others' attention. The silly me pretended benevolent and brave letting the past go while putting down the strong words to secure my dignity, saying dramatic things like, "I wish you well in the future," or "I will be happy without you." 

       Psychology has taught me well what those blessings are for - to get the attention of the person who you think is significant in your life. Only two outcomes would happen. One is hearing back from the receiver and may be able to retrieve the relationship; two is no response at all as a sign that the relationship has truly ended. 

       Mr. G didn't reply my strong words. I wasn't willing to accept the truth that he stopped loving me until recently. Interestingly, acting like a cold person, I didn't reply Mr. A's texts, not until he became dramatic and expressed stronger emotions. 

       I said to Mr. G I wanted to be his friend again, simply a normal friend who would just greet from time to time. Honestly speaking, I love him so much that I don't know if I can really be just a friend. I might even bargain to be his friend with benefits after succeeding the first step. Mr. A said to me similar things, and of course, from the same standing point, I didn't believe he just wanted to be my friend, since we were once in love.

       I finally see how I really looked when I tried to beg for a relationship with Mr. G. Without confidence and dignity, I was so annoying and deserved to be ignored. Fortunately, I learned to love and respect myself.