Belief

       Many have asked if I believe in God. I do, indeed. Not because I am looking for a place to go after death, but seeking someone to give me a hand when my weaknesses take over my power. A hand that is physical, or spiritual. Jealousy, cruelty, fear, and selfishness in my psyche are derived from my sins. I admit I am not strong enough to handle them on my own, so I choose to believe in someone I have never met in person. Someone who is believed the smartest, the most powerful, and the perfect God. Atheists say I am stupid and weak; but religious Christians say I need more commitments.
       Usually I do not think of God unless He is needed. I thank Him when I taste sweets, ask Him for help when I get lost, and pray to Him when I see bitterness. Other than that, I try my best to leave Him along with the least amount of trouble. Every time I see deaths of others in my life, I turn to Him ask why people suffer and need to be separated from the loved ones. He did not answer my question. Not deliberately.
       I have too many questions to ask, but I know no one will give me a satisfying answer. Don't even ask why I believe in God with the sparks of rebellion in my heart. It's just the way I do what I do. I choose to close my eyes and let someone else to deal with others' problems.