A Book in the Library Chapter 2

       At the moment he put himself back together, Mr. Little, Unpopular realized he was back on the shelf again. The young lady was kind enough to pick him up from the gap between bookshelves, but certainly uninterested in literature. He was broken-hearted while watching her walking towards the magazine section.
       The criticism and insults from peers are the most difficult to bare. It's the life of an unpopular book, trying to enjoy the very last bit of sweet dreams until the bubble is bursted. It was just another sunny day. Librarians were busy as usual putting books back on shelves and helping visitors finding their resources; and kids naughtily rearranged cartoon books as if no one was watching. The only difference was Mr. Little, Unpopular had never been so under the weather. He knew he should not expect anything, even if he received a gentle touch. Nicely said, it is not easy to find a confidant who is willing to read you in depth.
        When Mr. Little, Unpopular sank in deep thought, a giant hand grabbed him off the shelf and lay him on the top of a cart. Mr. Little, Unpopular's emotion went straight from misery to fright. He kept his eyes wide open and searched around for help, but it was no use. Leaving all the giggles and gossips of his peers behind, Mr. Little, Unpopular watched the cart rolling away from the shelf he belonged to, and he had no idea what would happen next.

- I am not turning myself into a full-time writer, but I will keep writing this story and hope you enjoy. Please leave me comments below if you have any suggestions!

A Book in the Library

       He is a little, unpopular fiction book on the public library shelf. You can tell he was once a most check-out book by his worn cover, but the brilliant age of his life had passed. It is a long, quiet waiting for his secret admirers to take him off the shelf and gently hold him in palms.
       When he almost gave up hoping, a young lady stopped in front of the shelf where he was located. Many of other books cheerfully shouted out for attention. Some of them can easily catch people's eye, because of their outstanding cover, or size, but Mr. Little, Unpopular is not anything like that. The books next to him deliberately squeezed him to the back of the shelf. No matter how hard he tried to push himself back to the front, he was not strong enough. As he was approaching the very edge, he felt hopelessness, darkness, and then the gravity that kept him away from being seen. He dropped on the ground and hit the iron bar at the bottom. For the first time in his whole life, he cried. He thought he would never be found again.
       The loud noise that Mr. Little, Unpopular made shocked the young lady. I would say he actually shocked the entire library, but because of his fall, he got the most attentions he could ever have. Long and skinny was her arm, the young lady reached out to him. Once again, he felt the warmth of human hand and the moisture of lotion. He cried even harder, because he was touched.

       Special thanks to the Norman Public Library for providing us opportunities at no cost to gain knowledge in the world of literature and improve skills in this digital century.

Eye

       When I look in the blue eyes, I always find myself lost in a maze. It seems like I am looking for an answer, but I never do. I then let myself sink in the sea of secrets, wonder, and mysteries.
       I have a pair of brown, nearly dark, eyes. Living with these eyes for almost 24 years, I am very used to the color of the world I perceive, but it may be too dark to the blue eyes. Do blue-eye people perceive a different world? Is the world warmer, brighter in the blue eyes? I tried to look into the eyes to find my answer, but they didn't tell me anything.

For Job Seekers

       Receiving phone calls from recruiters is highly expected after you sent out thousands of your resume to different companies. So many that you even forget which company or what position you have applied. When recruiters start shooting emails and dialing your number, you have no concept who you are talking to. It happens to me way too often to be reasonable.
       Pretending you remember or know is not a good solution. Someone once told me that confidence made people believe in whatever you said. That's not true, just because people are not as unintelligent as you think.
       I then thought of a good way to be honest and polite while retrieving the pieces of information needed. Sometimes it is very difficult to identify the company when a recruiter talks too fast or with an accent. You may then ask them to send you an email as an interview confirmation including the time and location of the interview, company background information, and job description. I think the willingness to review and do a thorough research on the company deserves a forgiveness.

A Joke

       I: Hey, I am going to Boston next week.
       Youming: Just touring with a friend?
       I: No. I found an American guy online, and he said he was willing to marry me and offer me a U.S. citizenship. When he dies, I can have millions of his money. So I am getting married in Boston next week.
       Youming: Lol wut?
     
       This is a joke of mine I find really funny. I used to hate any gossip about me trying to hook up with some American people just to get a citizenship and always tried my best to declare my dignity and self-esteem, but I now decide to joke about it. It doesn't matter who people think I am, because I live for myself and the ones who know me. Teehee!

Haydn's Symphony

       An elementary school music teacher played Haydn's symphony No. 94, 'Surprise,' second movement to the class, and one of students instantly fell in love with it. It's been ten years since the last time I heard Haydn's work. 'Surprise' was Haydn's playful idea to keep audiences awake while listening to his concerts. When listening to this symphony, I see a young deer jumping on the rocks and on the grass. Then a lion pops in the picture to surprise the little dear kid, but shows no harm. The deer innocently asks the lion to play hide-and-seek with her. Just a harmless and fairytale-like imagination of mine. =)

Back Then

       While I certainly had seen thousands of Youtube videos, I forgot I actually uploaded one myself. It was back in 2012, me visiting Uncle Peter in San Diego. A tourist kindly offered us help taking pictures of us at a park, but accidentally hit the recording button. So here it is. I smiled widely, happily, freely like a child. Sometimes I really wish things could go back and time could reverse.

Hobby

       At the bus stop, the person in front of me stood patiently waiting. He started with standing still, facing north, but the bus had been late for 10 minutes. He then put out his phone to kill time. You have no idea how phone becomes such a weapon against boredom for decades. The girl in front of him got a phone call in the middle of waiting. She was basically complaining about her boring first week of college to the other side of the phone. I didn't remember I experienced any of her experiences when I went to college, but her mimic of her classmates put a smile on my face. There were two close friends behind me. I knew they were close friends because of the way they talked about an afternoon runner's dog. "Aww, I like that kind of dog, but he walks funny." "He is like, 'I am not running, I am not walking.'"  Sudden giggles of them terminated my interests in listening to their unkind conversations.
       This is one of my hobbies, standing in the middle of the crowd and observing.

Halo By Adornetto

       I spent four hours in the library today reading a book called Halo by Alexandra Adornetto. The author was an eighteen-year-old teen wondering the meaning of love, and she wrote this book showing her obscurity. I wouldn't say her words were beautiful or compliment her creativity, but the story is an addictive poison. It is the same old angel type of story that everybody fancies about, but once you start reading it, you just couldn't stop. It's very similar to the situation where you find yourself couldn't help watching a Korean drama although you already knew the ending. Pathetic, but somehow entertaining for leisure. Peace!

Good Friends

       Is there anyone in your life whom you find you would like to keep a distance from but could not live without? Those people always show up not only at the wrong time but also at the right time. You find them annoying when they talk incessantly and give too much advice like a professor, although you know it's because of good intentions; but you also find them irresistible when your life turns gray and they wipe away your tear and tell you to be strong.
       I call them 'good friends.'

Sunday

       The sun is out for this wonderful Sunday. Laundry, cleaning up my hoard, reading more books, and gym sound like a plan for today. I open the patio door and welcome the wind and sunlight to come in my apartment. 

       I see myself with a bright future, happy enjoying life, and let the past go. Being positive! Special thanks to Ivan and Alex for their advice. 

Tik Tak Tik Tak

       Not sure since when I became so fond of driving around the city and going back to the memorable places. It feels like I see myself knocking at that door, walking in that hallway, and hanging out with those old friends again. Wind is blowing, and time is running away. As the image of myself fades away, I realize it is just a silly, comforting dream. I am no longer knocking at that door because I am not invited to the parties in the house anymore; I am no longer walking in that hallway because no one is waiting for me at the other end; I am no longer hanging out with certain people because...
       Some people once were significant in my life, but sadly, we are out of touch now.
     
       Sorry that my blog entries are bitter these days. I just couldn't help it. I don't know if I could ever go back to the cheerful me after going through so much in relationships. i _ i

Fingers Crossed

       I have been called by many different names. Crystal, Cristo, Cici, Jiksin, Jishin... Some eventually got it right, Zixin (Sisin), but today someone called me Vixen. It could be just a typo, or someone trying to be creative. Sigh, I surrender. Call me whatever you like from now on, as long as I know you are talking to/about me.
       Job hunting goes smoothly these days. I am very satisfied with what I am offered, but the only concern is my EAD card arrival time. Without the work permit, any great offer is meaningless because I am not yet allowed to work in the U.S. Fingers crossed! I can't wait to go to Ohio, or maybe Illinois.

Just An Unusual Day

       Waking up at 6:30 in the morning, I saw the very first sunlight entering my room. A busy day was ahead waiting for me.
       One of the shortcomings of having braces is when you have a cavity between the interface of two front teeth, going in and out on the same day between a dentist's and an orthodontist's is inevitable. I first had my brace wire taken off at the orthodontist's, spent two hours having my filling done at the dentist's, and then went back to the orthodontist's to put new wires back on. Watching Rapunzel while lying on the operation bed certainly made the four hours of torture entertaining.
       Skipping lunch, I went straight to campus to file some paperwork for a potential employment. The company, Mahindra Engineering, requested me to show my diploma when it was not yet ready. I had nothing but a Degree Completion Form to prove I am done with school.  Geez, it was a hassle to obtain that.
       I really wish things would get easier on me as time passes. Being hopeful!
     
       Below is a reminder from Pink, Try, to myself. I gotta get up and try, no matter how many times of failure.

A Facebook Addict

       "友情也好，愛情也罷。你來，我熱情相擁。你走，我坦然放手。只要你不離不棄，哪怕一輩子我也願意奉陪到底。"

       I read this post on Facebook today morning. Although I am not sure who said it, it spoke to my heart. It's for either friendship or love relationship. I am more than welcome when it comes, but happy to let go when it decides to leave. As long as it's not given up, I am not going anywhere without.
       I want to be with someone because of love, but I also stay away for the very same reason. I am not benevolent. I simply know what belongs to me.

Facebook

       Once upon a time, someone unfriended a girl on Facebook. The girl then thought being unfriended was because someone chose not to check on her status updates, not because she was hated. A few days ago, the girl unfriended a boy on Facebook for the very same reason.
       Once upon a time, a boy unfriended someone on Facebook and blocked her visibility to his public profile because he hated her. He used to think maybe open her visibility again would be a good revenge, so that she could see how better off he was, but he did not do that. A few days ago, the boy opened his status updates to public for some unknown reason.
       The girl who unfriended the boy is able to see his updates and profile now. She thought she already forgot about this boy and everything about him, but reading his old status updates and her old posts on his wall, she smiled.
       She still loves him, I think.

Diploma

       I had an interview today at a home construction company. I was pretty happy about what I applied for until the CEO said something striking my mind. "With you degree and grades, you can do much more than what I am asking for." Is that a compliment? Maybe half-half. I have been feeling under the weather because of that.
       Industrial Engineers are capable of doing many things. I am, like many people, fascinated by the fact that how much we can do for the society, but am I really qualified to be a good engineer without having any full-time experience? I doubt.
       Because of my degree, I now carry a lot of expectations. More than $55,000 per year even as an entry level, working in a clean environment, and leading a team to achieve whatever goal... Sometimes I wonder if I really deserve those. A Bachelor degree is great, but a piece of paper indicating my education background is not equal to what I can really do.
        Sorry if I turn some of you down for my low confidence of myself. The truth hurts.

Gym

       Once upon a time, human got tired of outdoor exercise and then invented machines to help them work out. After years of improvement, these artificial physical challenges have become very popular. I am one of the big fans.
       One of the main advantage of the challenges is that you know what is coming up by looking at the monitor. Thirty minutes remaining, you are riding bicycle on a uphill. The machine has to be running at a certain rate, or a warning shows up, which means you have to work hard on this artificial challenge.
        Fifteen minutes remaining, you are half way there. Now you think, "I am tired, should I stop?" You can go play with the running machine for a little bit and then come back to continue on the rest, or maybe a mouth full of fresh water is good enough to recharge your energy. Temptation, temptation...
        Eight minutes remaining, apparently you didn't stop at fifteen minutes because of too much hesitation. Giving up at this point is sort of meaningless. You have been riding the bike for more than twenty minutes, you can totally handle the rest.
        Five minutes remaining, you are exhausted. "Holy molly, I am dying!" You think, "oh well, I can do this!" Disregarding how much you sweat, how bad you smell, how thirsty you are, you keep going because you have a belief.
        One minute remaining, you see hope, future, and happiness. Your head is running a script saying thank you to whoever contribute in your achievement. "I thank my mom and dad giving me a healthy body; I thank my friends being supportive and encouraging; I thank my neighbor's dog not biting my legs off..." Right before this significant moment, everything becomes dramatic.
        Congratulations! You have reached the top of the hill! Tears, sweats, and saliva mix together. You are so happy that it's finally done, and you forget you look supper-dupper ugly right now.
         I looked at myself in the mirror. I laughed. Silly me, I only achieved a fake challenge, not real.