Dialogue With Mr. Gooby

Me:      Ugh! Black cat!
Gooby: Don't worry, he has white paws.
Me:      So it makes it lucky?
Gooby: No, but it makes it not unlucky.
Me:      (My Gooby is so cute.)

Deep Thoughts

       I stopped blogging as much as before. It's not that I don't want to write anymore, but responsibilities and reality occupy most of my time. It took me 20 years to realize who, what, when, and where I miss the most back in the days. Childhood friends from school or even strangers met in vacations could warm up my heart when I experience the most difficult time of my life. Why? It's not how special of what they do, but how simple, easy and free of the time I spent with them. No responsibility, no worry, and no concern. Relationships in vacuum always last longer, but when it comes to reality with responsibilities and beneficial values, any relationship bond seems easy to break. No more fun. Isn't it sad? The truth hurts.
       I really hope I could find a relationship that survives longer and stronger outside of the vacuum. The privilege of being alive is being able to give love, receive love, and lose love. The reality is surely breaking down our human minds and relationships, but why waste our ability to love and why not reserve a little space for love and hope to motivate us moving forward? I might sound cheesy now, but you can't say I am wrong.
       Best wishes to you finding the loved one(s). Smiley!

Sunday Sunshine

      Watching so many couples walking their dogs and parents hiking with their kids, all of a sudden, I feel very calm. I saw two old couples holding hands while the man had a white flower in his other hand. Is he going to give the flower to his wife as a Sunday afternoon gift? Imagination sweets my heart.
      Sunshine warms my knees and toes, bugs flying in the air try to find their mates. I am looking at a such beautiful, natural scene. But when I try to step in, I feel like an outsider who doesn't fit in at all. I am alone with my psychology book sitting on a bench. Where is my another half?

Lazy Winter

      It's a season to hibernate. I am not doing as much work as I am supposed to. Coming home after meeting with Min Ting for a project, I am here again on my couch, enjoying my cinnamon roll with melting icy and listening to some Youtube videos. Mr. Gooby is busy tonight, so we cannot hang out.
      Aubri and I decide to call each other A and Z, which stand for Aubri and Zixin. It sounds like we are some kind of secret agents working for a confidential association. Aubri even edited her signature to "licensed to kill." Laugh out loud. I always enjoy those little entertainments in my life.
      I met Ebisa on my way to Starbucks today, half hour before work. He kidnapped me to have lunch with him. Of course, with my intelligence, I escaped. I am sure his lunch wasn't the same without me. Big grin. If I weren't going to work, I would probably end up having a kidnapping meal with him. Wahahahah...
      Mr. Gooby and I are going to do moss hunting this Sunday, after the OU-Texas game. I am very looking forward to it because I have never done anything like that in my whole life. We would probably do moss graffiti, but what would he paint? Curious, curious...

The Love Note

"The only person you need to impress is me, and you've impressed me. So stop checking yourself out in the mirror." -Mr. Gooby
You are the sweetest person I have ever met. Most importantly, you are only sweet to me.

This Saturday

       Mr. Gooby and I went to the museum for our second date today. I would like to say I have learned a lot after going out with this wise man. He had taught me so much about natural science, the city of Choctaw, the state of Oklahoma, and consciousness. Sometimes the questions he brings up are very mentally stimulating, and we usually engage in some great conversations. I enjoy being interested in him and amazed by him.
       I finally watched Matrix, the movie. The context of the movie is really deep and makes us think about our own civilization and self intelligence. Mr. Gooby has so many thoughts about the movie and reality itself. I didn't agree with some of his thoughts, and our day ended in a not-so-perfect way because of the discussion on consciousness, but it did not eliminate his delightfulness. People get into fights with others, and we are one of them. Being not so happy with each other and not agreeable are more realistic anyway. Big smiley!
       P.S. Mr. Gooby, thank you for being in my life and bringing me different emotions that make my life pleasurable.

A Letter That Would Never Go Out

Dearest Friend,

So many things had happened since last month. Earlier in September, we were having fun at the lake with Mr. B's family. Who would believe we ended up not talking to each other in three weeks? I am writing this to let you know that you are always my dearest friend no matter what you decide to do with me, and I hope you would understand me. I know you are mad at me for not being considerate when it comes to love relationships, but please try to finish reading this letter.

As you know, I started hanging out with Ryan soon after school started. At the beginning, I simply enjoyed the pool at his neighborhood. You were right, the way he looked at people made people believed they were the only significant one in his world, but I wasn't interested in him. Most of the time I was the one talking, sharing, and whining. He didn't talk much, and so I thought he didn't find my stories interesting. We kept hanging out at the pool and his apartment almost every other night anyway.

I didn’t find Ryan special until the night I was upset about some words my grandpa told me over the summer. As usual, I was sharing my story with Ryan. I told him that I didn't know if I would remain happy without my grandpa. Maybe Ryan sensed my emotions and started to talk about his grandparents. He said he wasn't familiar with them because two of them died when he was young. I then confessed that the fewer people we started to be close with, the happier and simpler our lives would be. He agreed, and I was shocked to find out someone had such feeling/thought like me. Since then, I started to feel Ryan and I shared many things in common.

Can you believe how difficult to find someone feels the same way like you do? I am very thankful to meet Ryan, get to know him and start liking him. He is someone I have been looking for. Of course I have doubts. Maybe he is not my Mr. Right, maybe we won't have a future, maybe he is not as amazing as I perceive, maybe he doesn't like me as much as he claims, etc. But at this moment, I know I really enjoy being with him. I don't want to let go.

I understand you don't feel comfortable about my relationship with Ryan. He is your age and was your high school friend. If we broke up or ended up hating each other, it would be very awkward for you to pick a side. I thought a lot about what you told me the other day. I think you were right, and so Ryan and I decided to take a step back. Everything seems going back to normal. He and I are still on the stage of getting to know each other, but we can’t go back to normal friends any more. We both like each other, and it takes a lot to forget the feelings for each other, more than we can imagine.

You said I shouldn’t be asking dramatic questions, but I just have a feeling that you don’t want to talk to me or see me ever again. I really hope a dear friend like you could be my close friend for the rest of my life. I cherish our friendship with my heart.

Crystal