Complaints

       Working in the far west countryside of China is like living alone in a desert out of nowhere full of natives who are totally different. People see you as an alien because you don't speak the accents they speak and act in the way they act. When you think two people are in a fight, they can be just talking a little bit louder than you do. Coughing without covering mouths, smoking in public like noone else is alive on earth, and spitting on the floor anytime anywhere are the most common behaviors showing how civilized the society is and how educated the people are. That only puts shame on my face about my kind and my race, although I never thought about it before.
       I am not quite done with my complaints yet. The air is always filly and stiff in mainland China, and blue skies slash white clouds are only in your dream. I certainly miss many things back in Oklahoma, but you know what, I never stop complaning, as nothing is perfect. Waking up in a chilly morning, you do see a perfect sunrise outide of your window in western countries, you think your day is going to be awesome blossom until you open the garage door and breathe a load of wood fire smokes out of your neighbors' chimneys. Blue sky, great! But with smokey air, which could be carban monoxide that kills your lungs, nay!
       Of course people speak normal-er outside of western China, but the discrimination is not anywhere better. Just because you are not having the same skin color, or speak the accents as the norm, or love someone different from your gender, it doesn't mean you deserve to be treated differently. I couldn't bare any of the disrespects. Shame, again.
       Well, I guess what I am trying to say is everyone is different, and everywhere is different. I like this portion of this place, and I like that portion of that place, while hating something else in each. Nothing is perfect. Although I am not in one of my favorate places in the world, my life goes on...

Recember

I still remember how it felt twelve months ago. Breathing in the coldness at night, and waiting for an answer from someone who chose the quietest way to turn me down. It was a December bottle with sadness filled up by tons of tear...

This December will be slightly different. =) 

Sweetest Moments

       I just had a sweetest weekend in quite a while. Mr. Special is certainly the best host ever, taking me around in Hong Kong. Memories were made, and abundance of love was given to each other. I never thought I was treated unjustified in my past relationships, but this time really gives me confidence in appreciation and honesty. We never verbally said we loved each other, but we both know how important we are to each other from the inside of hearts. 

Tiny Times

       In this big big world, everybody has his or her own tiny times, surrounded by different people and things and fascinated by the unexpected and dramatic. Tonight, I am sitting in front of my computer doing my "homework" again, while checking Whatsapp constantly to see if it's still working. My mind is already 2000 km away, wandering in one of the bars or restaurants in Hong Kong with my boyfriend, but lines after lines of type-ups are cruelly bringing me back to reality. In this big big world, I am surrounded by office supplies and fascinated by the sweet images with my who-know-where-he-is-now boyfriend. Special thanks to my hormones and brain cells, I can't be happier. #sarcasm

Train Moves Again

       On the day after tomorrow, I will fly back to Chengdu for work. A full week of enjoyment and refreshment certainly have charged my battery of life. It's about time to show Mr. Boss and Mr. Mentor my work of art! 

        Before I leave, I would like to put down a few words for Mr. Fish. Although he never said he would wait until the next time we could meet again, I felt his uneasiness seeing me walking away. The kiss on my forehead was a seal. A seal to close down my jar of regrets. I know he will always be my backup to support me, whenever I fail, whenever I succeed. We both know we have many things to overcome before our relationship moves forward, but I am willing to face those obstacles with Mr. Fish, no matter what outcome we have. Love to me is not how much happiness we enjoy together, but how determined we can be to make things happen. Please have faith in me, Mr. Fish. Kiss.

The Past

      The sixteen-year-old me was certainly a drama queen. Having an 18-year-old boyfriend at the time was considered cool, and willing to die for the so-called love was called bravery. Now I see that stupid. However, I don't think it was necessarily bad, but quite an experience that I could learn from the past. 

       I have changed so much that I don't even see a shadow of the old me. I guess the most unchanged characteristic of me is love to write letters and diaries. I had hid so many letters from everybody in a secret place, and tonight I dug them out for some refreshment. I see myself wasn't looking for comfort or peace in a love relationship at the time, but fireworks that could sparkle the boring entities in my life. I would rather say I was selfishly manipulating. I am glad I have come this far changing and improving. Hehe.

       Mr. F and I are now in a stable friendship that we both appreciate each other's feelings. A good relationship does require efforts. Long distance isn't easy to run, but at least we can try. =)

A Whatever Sunday

*Cough Cough*

It is another usual Sunday with a whole bunch of tourists flushing into the city. My colleagues and I decided to stay indoor to avoid traffic and the crowd. Sadly my throat is so sore, and everything becomes so trivial and unpleasant. Sunday gives me a chance to have some "me" time. Before working full time, I had "me" time whenever I didn't feel like sociable, but now Sunday is my only chance to do something on my own. Calling friends to harass their Sunday lives, lying in bed to pretend time has stopped slipping away, and playing games like I got nothing else important to do... It's a whatever Sunday. I just want to relax. No argument, no incidence. Hopefully no sickness.