It's been a month since the last time I updated my blog. It seemed nothing major had happened, or nothing really got on my nerves in the past few weeks. Old troubles continue to exist, and same routin is not yet changed.
At work, I got a new manager above me, and my old boss who brought me from Oklahoma now then became my second level manager. I received messages long before my old boss notified me his decision, but I was not ready for it. What is done is done, and I can't change a thing. It's like fate is the ruler and you can only be a puppet of life. Huh, I am just so "me." I am not against anyone, but I guess I am upset at losing my expectation, and things start running off my tracks. Recently, I was notified again that I would have another manager above me, instead of the last one, but my very first boss is still my second level. Frequent changes made me lose insights in my future at my job. I can't choose whom I work for. It feels like I am just a FYI person in the loop, I am someone who needs to know the thing, but my thoughts can't make any differences. Is it life? Is this reality for being an employee? If so, it is really hurting me.
I stopped seeing that fire in my heart and the passion for my job in me. Am I becoming one of them? Zombies chasing after brains. No feeling, no control... But I would need to say that I want to escape. This is the only thing to prove I am still a human being. I was programmed to be a manipulator, not a manipulatee.
